you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
