East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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