yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize