Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
