I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
