Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
