Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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