There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
