i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize