I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
