My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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