Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
