Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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