; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I could make wine with my vomit
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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