I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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