She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize