i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
