I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
