# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
