Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
