the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
