You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
