Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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