WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
