i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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