I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
