I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
