This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
People in love make me want to vomit
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
