10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
