I am puke
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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