she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize