did you get engaged???
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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