I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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