Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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