Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Farmville is her only friend.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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