she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
