I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize