eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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