She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
