So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
