he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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