Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need moral support for this bender
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
