Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
