I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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