I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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