I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wanna go halves on a baby?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
