she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
