Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
