Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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