So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Houston, we have a squirter
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
