you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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