theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
