Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This baby is an asshole
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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