he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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