nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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