I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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