You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
