I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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